The List of Judges

What will people say is a phrase with no address, which is why it cannot be beaten. Fear gets a size only when it gets names and powers.

Take a sheet and divide it into three columns. In the first, list by name everyone whose judgement you actually fear — not abstract people but concrete ones: your mother, a former boss, a neighbour, a classmate, a colleague. In the second, write what each of them can really do: stop calling, say something behind your back, refuse you money, fire you. In the third, when you last spoke to that person. Then cross out everyone you have not talked to in over a year and look at how many are left.

As a rule, after the crossing out one to three names remain, and that changes the scale sharply: you were afraid not of society but of a few specific people. Some of them may be people long gone from your life or no longer alive — then it is worth working out whose voice you are actually hearing. If the list came out empty, the issue is not judgement but what you think of yourself; write that on the back in one sentence.